Your Clients Determine Your Business’ Success

I’ve read a couple of articles recently about effective listening. The common thread in the articles is the argument that you can increase your personal power by refining this underappreciated skill.

The benefits of skillful listening are undeniable. It can make you a better negotiator, a more effective manager, a more charismatic leader and a more successful salesperson.

For example, a former colleague (PK) and I had lunch with a successful public relations consultant (BR). PK and I had a client event we were hosting at the upcoming US Open Tennis championship and BR wanted to talk to us about promoting the event. We were very interested . . . until he started talking.

He began by telling us all about us and the event we were planning. I don’t know where he got his information, but it was mostly wrong and/or outdated. Then he spent some time telling us what we needed – once again, without any apparent idea about our real needs. Finally, he pitched several ideas about how to solve problems we didn’t have or address opportunities we had long ago taken advantage of.

He never asked us a single question – never even took a breath or gave us a look to see whether his monologue was hitting a chord. He just talked on and on.

We came to the lunch almost 100% ready to do business with him. We left knowing we wouldn’t. The sad thing is he probably never knew why. He certainly didn’t call and ask.

“Why,” you ask, “didn’t you stop him and correct his misunderstandings? That might have redirected the conversation.”

We did. We tried to –but he treated our comments like interruptions. He’d make some token comment and continue on the same path. He was so caught up in his own presentation that he didn’t get what we were telling him and he not only lost that opportunity, but any future bid we or anyone in our department put out did not include his company either.

We could have been more assertive, but as he talked on we became less interested in correcting him. It became clear that he wasn’t someone we wanted to work with.

Here’s a small positive example of good listening: Last year, a friend of mine (SA) negotiated the purchase of a very collectable oil painting. The price quoted was $3,000. SA had an argument ready – a good argument – for paying about $500 less. But instead of making it, he chose to listen. SA said, “That price seems substantially too high. Tell me how you justify it.”

The dealer gave SA four reasons, two of which were solid and two of which were weak. He refuted the weak reasons with specifics. The dealer was impressed, almost taken aback. He gave SA a price of $2350. SA would have paid $2500.

Making the case after SA had listened to the dealer’s gave him an advantage – one that probably saved him $150.

The Golden Rules Of Listening

So the first and most important Golden Rule of Listening is to shut up and let the other person talk first. Do that, and you’ll be way ahead of the game. If you want to become a listening master, you might want to remember the “advanced” 3-Level listening rule: Listen to:

Hear the literal content,
Hear the emotional story behind it and
“Hear” what the speaker’s body language and tone of voice are saying.

Many times, the three aren’t saying the same thing.

Sometimes, people sometimes just need to be heard. They want to tell you their story, and they want you to listen to it. If it involves a problem and you think you have “the solution,” you may be tempted to interrupt their story to offer it to them. Usually a bad idea.

Let them finish their sad story. Then ask if they have a solution. You may be surprised at how frequently they do. Why did they bother to tell you? It may be as simple as the need for sympathy. There’s nothing wrong with that, so long as the need doesn’t become neurotic. Constant whiners are impossible, unproductive, and draining. You shouldn’t tolerate them.

Are you a great listener? Here’s a sure-fire way to find out: Ask someone who knows you. And listen to the answer.

I’ve been forcing myself to listen better. It is not natural for me, but each time I’ve managed to do it right I've gotten better-than-expected results. I highly recommend it.

Lynnelle Bianco, President of Bold Vision Consulting brings 25+ years of professional and corporate working experience to clients. Having held senior positions in marketing, new business development and client service for global institutions — as well as owning and operating her own small businesses — Lynnelle brings real-world experience and forward looking perspectives to helping today’s professionals and business owners achieve breakthrough success. …and remember;
Be Bold! It all starts with a vision.